Met this really talented beautiful girl, she was a crazy good cross country runner, a writer, a poet, a fantastic artist everybody knew and liked. I admired her for all these things, wish I could do them myself, kind of star-struck by her in a way. She was surprisingly really shy and introverted, the only reason I could ever approach her. Began to talk and text a whole lot for a few years, talked hours at a time. We learned everything about each other there was to know, we were similar in so many ways. I waited for a very long time to say anything about how I felt because I was scared of loosing her as a friend. In the mean time she started dating some other guy, he was super athletic, tall, made movies or did photography or something, bunch a stuff I could never be. She started coming to me about all the weird overjealous things he did after a few months. He eventually got pissed off when he saw me anywhere near her, told her to stop talking to me and her friends, yadda yadda jealous BF shit. He'd barge into her house and sleep in her room unannounced, rude to her parents, real charmer. The real winner was when he pretended to be me, and started texting her little sister to badmouth me. Anyway they broke up. I never got the details all of all the stupid/mean stuff he did during and after they dated, other than he called her a "10 month distraction" or something. She started talking to me less and less after, closed up from certain people and opened to others. I told her how much I liked her a awhile later, but it seemed too late. She stopped trusting anybody, even me, and I guess she wanted nothing to do with me after I told her. She didnt say that of course, acted friendly and all, but it was obvious she was doing her best to ignore me. So I stopped trying to talk to her.
Since then I can't seem to bring myself to feel anything for anybody else. It feels wrong, fake, weird. This first girl I had so much respect for, got to know so well, we were so alike, I considered her honestly perfect. Don't feel like repeating this ever again, stopped looking for other people. shrug