This time, I stopped drinking after a blackout at a restaurant with a girl I was out with. I had nothing to eat all day, and just drank for at least 10 hours straight. I got woozy when we went to a new bar, so I got up to go to the bathroom and didn't make it. I hit my head, and fell down, they say I had a seizure, not entirely sure about that part. Ambulance came. It was the worst, most embarrassing feeling to come to, and see the entire restaurant/bar looking at me. I thought..."I did it again. I hate myself!" I bolted out of there after signing a waiver and walked the streets looking for my car, and couldn't find it. I called my ex who came and got me, which was another bad idea. I really hit rock bottom, another one. I've had many rock bottoms. This one hurt just as bad, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I cried for weeks. I came to SD and started posting, and started reading literature almost immediately to try and change my thinking. I had a stint of 2 years sober once, and went to an outpatient rehab, so I know the drill. I started working out a lot more, and changing my life because I knew I was going to fuck up one more time and it could be my last. I might kill someone, lose my daughter, or lose my life. I have a lot to live for, I knew that, so I decided to fight for my life again. I've seen people post on here that they are stopping BEFORE some nasty rock bottom hits, and I think that's great. I only ever stopped when something really bad happened, which I guess is common for folks like us, but nonetheless, I never had enough control to do that. Currently I'm really working hard to stay healthy by going to yoga, and working out, and eating healthy. I'm reading some good self help books, and I am really digging deep to let go of some character defects that are eating me alive. Work in progress right?