Hey, are you me? I'm going through something similar, and I know I can't say anything that will make you feel better, but I guess I just want to share my story so you know that, although bad, your situation should not make you feel like this is the end. In fact this is only the beginning!
I've been with him for 13 years, I'm only 31. We only got married 2 years ago, he started to cheat on me 3 years ago, with a woman (10 yrs older than us) who he ended up marrying only a few short days after our first year anniversary as newlyweds. Follow me? This is not the first time he had cheated on me but I'm by myself as well. He was, and still is all I can call a family, except for my cat! (See? We share a lot in common)
Even worse than that after I found out I was covered in debt, earning 10x hour, and no savings. Oh, and since I waited 11 years to get married, only now I was getting my legal US residency docs, which meant I couldn't leave him bc I could be deported (they could think it wasn't a marriage for real). So here I am in our apt still, he's out somewhere living it up and this will be the 2nd new years eve I'll spend on my own.
Point is, I'm scared shitless of what the future holds, I'm alone, and I also wish I could die bc none can tell me that this next life "adventure" will be worth the effort. Heck, I thought I was doing everything right! But what I wanted to say was, forget about him, hate him, resent him, but be selfish and start looking out for yourself. He's now in the past, if there's something that ties you too him, like me, then figure out the steps you need to take. They might be long term, it's been a little over a year for me already, but keep your eye on the price. What is that goal for you? For me is to get my papers straighten, move out, and get a job that would pay me enough.
Move forward, even if you can't move on!! I want to hug you and cry together, and curse those assholes together and have a kitty party together. I want you to know that reading your post gave me a little strength. Strength to know that I'm not the only person going through this, and strength to know that I've come far enough to be able to lend that same strength to someone else.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need to vent or to distract yourself.
Lots of love.