The problem is you in the close friendships you try to form with the wrong pool of people.

That's my point. You don't know that. You're just assuming that if they were good people, they'd be my friends, and that I am clearly such a wonderful person to be around that naturally, everyone decent would want to be friends with me. But that's not the case. I understand if you don't believe me; no one on this sub has. They just keep telling me that I'm wrong, and that the problem can't be that I'm a problem. I understand, it's not a new thing for someone to insist that i couldn't possibly be right about this.

and for some of us who are actually the most awesome, there are a lot of wrong pools of people. We're unique, not everyone can (or should) get us. We're powerful, and therefore, only a few can handle us. It may take a long time, but you will find someone, even if it's only one or two people, who are a great fit. Their lives will be worse off if you and they never meet.

It's really awesome that you believe that. but i don't believe a word of it. maybe it's true in your case.none of it is true in mine. but i get it, you won't believe me on that either.

. but once you find the right people who share or appreciate your unique quirks, there's nothing better. try different sub-reddits, try MeetUp, do a Myers-Briggs personality test. See what might be "wrong" about you for the people you're around, and figure out who the right people are that you can be the right person with.

there are no "right people" that i can be around that i will click with. long term relationships simply aren't something i'm capable of, because of everything that's wrong with me. i am the problem. i wish someone would just take me at my word that that problem isn't fixable.