and unless you've literally met and interacted with every single person in the world, you have no idea whether or not there are "right people" you can click with for sure. so try it. dedicate your time to meeting as many people as possible. Just do it for a month, and literally spend most of your time doing that. Worst case, you've just had an extra unnecessary month of spending time that otherwise you'd be laying in a box. Better case, you have a little bit of hope.

I've spent years trying to meeting and forming meaningful relationships. we're way past a month. it (getting close and constant friendships) doesn't work. well, it works....for a few months, two years tops. and then they realize that i am the problem, or get tired of dealing with my ''disorders''.

What's the point of thinking it's for sure not fixable?

because at least then i'm being realistic. false hope is worse than a bad reality, because it taunts you. i could deny it and say "i'm sure if i meet enough people, i'll click with some and maybe they'll want to be around me longer than a year or so", but i know that's a joke....it would just prop me up to hurt more, and it would (more importantly) just make more people wish they had never met me, which is a recurring trend.

And even if it's not fixable, is that so bad?

yes. i'm suicidal for many, many reasons....this one has just been on my mind lately. and the fact is, when the people i love don't want or need me, and i can't protect them (and they wouldn't need my help anyway), then it pretty much kills any desre to live that survived all the other reasons i don't want to live for.

Not everyone is meant to have long term relationships. They're overvalued in our society. I can't remember who, but there was a really, really good speaker that I heard on the topic and that helped me a lot because I, too, have a hard time sustaining relationships.

literally our entire society is based on long term relationships. but even if it isn't, knowing that no one would really want to be around you for very long? just another good reason to die.....because i know that no one will be affected by my loss except immediate family. i agree that i'm not "meant to" have long term relationships, because i'm incapable of them.