Preface: I write this as I am tired and as thoughts come to me, so it may seem disjointed and somewhat incoherent. Nevertheless, I hope my comment is of some value.
Background: I am a man who is seriously trying to understand gender dynamics so I can relate to other people in a healthy and compassionate way.
I've been studying every perspective I can, including PUA,Redpill, MGTOW, and now feminism. I'm far from an expert on any particular way of looking at things, but I am starting to think a lot of men simply marginalize women's issues because they are afraid of being held to the same standards that they hold women to, especially in terms of attractiveness.
As a man who is not conventionally attractive and who has consistently failed to date girls he has feelings for due to their access to "better options", it was tempting to take comfort in other men blaming things like feminism or women's shallowness, but I could never buy in completely, even at my most emotionally vulnerable point.
This is largely due to the fact that I always challenge my beliefs, constantly think critically, and make it a priority to acknowledge the limits of my own knowledge. When I was hurt and needed an answer, seeing things through a misogynistic view became very enticing, as it was a convenient outlet for projecting my self-hatred.
Through a more honest self-examination though, I couldn't really buy into anti-feminist views because I knew that I had a more understanding of feminism and the women's perspective and that I was likely delusional due to not being able to process my emotional pain. I identify very much with some of these men, but in retrospect it is frightening how potentially kind people let emotional hurt manifest in them with such hatred and closed-mindedness.
I like many of them had my naive notion of romance shattered when I fell hard for a girl who didn't feel the same way. I lost my closest friend, first love, endured my first heart-break, found out I wasn't nearly as conventionally attractive as I thought I was, faced countless rejections when I tried to find someone else, nearly dropped out of college, and dealt with suicidal depression all within the span of a few months, and more than anything I just wanted answers.
Most people consoled me with platitudes, which didn't necessarily invalidate their advice, but it didn't feel very promising in the midst of severe depression and feelings of hopelessness. On the other hand, a lot of groups with an anti-feminist bent warned that I would be utterly doomed to a life of these awful feelings unless I woke up to the true nature of women and heeded their advice.
From this point, it was tempting to simply judge all women as a defense mechanism, anything to stop that feeling again. But out of habit, I examined those views dispassionately and found them to be misguided in many ways. Once I stepped out of the perspective of my own ego and my own suffering, I was able to consider other people's struggles more fairly and got more intrigued by feminism, which I am now trying to understand and suspect may be good for society, even if it makes it harder for me to find a partner.
A lot of my fear of feminism was driven by my fear of women being as picky as I am. I could have probably have found a girlfriend, but it's not that often that I'm really attracted to someone, never on the level as someone like my first love. After finding out she had slept with other men after rejecting me, I felt entirely inadequate, and was afraid there was no way I could ever measure up. My fear was primarily that I am just genetically incapable of competing with the naturally more desirable men, and I will never be able to find a case of mutual attraction. I believe my fear of feminism was primarily a manifestation of my own insecurity and coming to terms with the fact that a plain guy like me may never be able to a girl like the one I was in love with.