I've dealt with alcoholism & drug addiction for about 2-3 years. I've been arrested on multiple occasions, but luckily never charged. The main reason was for public disorder or drunk and disorderly. I was very upset about my childhood & parents divorce. I never coped well, I had flashbacks of when my dad was about to kill my mom & how I was the person who phoned my dad to let him know my mom was a cheater. I still have those & it intercepts my link of thinking throughout the week. The turning point was about a month ago; my dad said he would talk through one point (of the build up to the time of how he came to hold a fuckoff ratchet and tell me, at the time I was 7, that he was going to kill my mom if she walked through the door), each time we met. I can't tell you how much that helped. I've done AA, I've tried councilling, I tried to self harm & usually thats where I got arrested (jumping into cars, debating life on building ledges, I did not give ANY shits at all). Everyday it was about the routine (actually). I'd drive home past Sainsburys, buy as much beer as I could carry, drink it, smoke a few spliffs, sometimes knock some coke down on my proper low days. Then get up in the morning and take some red eye eyedrops so my eyes were white again (usually they were steaming red from the drugs and alcohol) and go to work. After speaking to dad I have felt the "not-need" to take either drugs or alcohol. I still have some alcohol here and there but it's different. My feeling is like I don't need a smoke, and if I take a drink it's like I don't NEED to drink anymore. And TBH I don't even like the feeling it gives anymore, it's dogshit, especially without the weed. It used to be, get home at 5pm, get as wrecked as possible by 10pm, watch film, go bed. Once my dad figured my problem & tried to fix it, it literally stopped my suicidal, drunk, drug addicted twat of a person actions within a month. It's insane. For me, once my problem was dealt with by the man who caused the problem to begin with, and it significantly helped my quality of life.. For your ex, identifying that cause may be your biggest challenge & then fixing it will be harder.

I don't really know what it is about addiction that makes you want it. The initial state of feeling is good, then it usually turns to horse shit. It's partly routine that is too easy (words said by my doctor), partly about mental health with a past problem or current problem, and partly about liking the feeling. Once you've cracked it, IMO, it becomes a not-way-of-life. The other thing that helped me was having family company for 3 weeks, where I felt guilty about getting wrecked, but feeling good about the company of my family/friends. The "good feeling" changes your perception of what is possible of happiness, and it makes you realise how long you ain't been happy/