Just to add something from a different perspective - if he somehow feels upset that this was hidden from him and it causes him to step back it doesn’t make him not a “good person”. Some people struggling don’t want help unfortunately (OP seems like she does though) and it isn’t a partner’s responsibility to give up potentially years of their life trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. Or maybe they just don’t feel it is fair to be lied to for months or years. I was with someone who hurt me unintentionally in all kinds of ways with his addictions, but when he hid his relapse for months (I knew he was an addict all along and tried to get him help through out the relationship, but he never budged) it was the last straw because he’s the type of person who would say they will go to a professional, but never does. Of course every situation is different and coming clean for the first time, saying “I accept help” is much different than someone who hides things until their partner finds out. But I have been on the other side, so I know how that can hurt. I knew no matter what I did he was going to continue to use behind my back, constantly drink and deny help. As we’d been through that cycle before. OP, this is the right time to start treatment and have an honest discussion with your boyfriend about it. If my ex took those steps with me we would probably still be together, you seem to truly want to change and do things the right way.