I'm with you on the suicidal from chronic pain. It's a very fine line to walk, especially since chronic pain = depression, and depression + opiates = high risk user.

Kratom is great for me usually... I just had surgery though a little over a month ago and have been taking oxy occasionally (3 times a week). Trying NOT to take it or anything to get my tolerance down again so kratom has a better effect overall. I had gone 3 months without any opiates until my last surgery just using kratom. It really is a good pain killer.... but for those kill me now days, it may not be enough.

My dad tells me every day that he wishes he never started using opiates for pain. Easy for him to say when he's medicated daily though. I've fought them off for 5 years now and I'm just losing hope that I'll be forced to take them. There is nothing wrong with somebody in pain taking something for their pain. I just know however I don't have the discipline to continue using them, I'm too depressed. I need to stop now (as I've just consumed more).