how is rape your own decision? how can you say that? NO ONE ever wants it to happen or intends for it. This is like the same thing when people say it's your fault for being attractive, your fault for drinking, but ultimately is it so demanding to want to be able to enjoy the same thing as men without feeling threatened and somehow feeling guilty for being just yourself! and i know i'm more leaning towards the girl side, because i have been in a situation like this before, and i'm trying to figure out if it's rape or not. like i was black out drunk in my own home, and it was my ex who 'raped' me. I know that in the end, i shouldn't have invited him to the party, but i told him many many times that i wasn't interested, i wanted to be friends, and i trusted him, he seemed to agree with me. and all i remember is waking up next to him and screaming and shoving him away. Like i don't remember consenting to anything, or even what happened, but he told me i didn't fight him and i was "into it" but i was on like shrooms opiates and drunk. The flashes of memories i have from that time are misleading. And this event affected my life in a really messed up way, like it hurt me and the guy i was seeing at the time, although we tried to cope with it he left me. And i never pressed charges against my ex, i don't even know what happened so what would i say. I forgave him, but i don't know if i should. It still hurts, but what never goes away is the feeling of guilt like it feels so shitty because maybe my actions lead to me getting raped. This guy was the only person I could trust for a long time, like i've known him for years and so to me it's believable that it could be my fault. And obviously if your careless with drugs like that getting raped is more likely, but i think that if it made me hurt so bad, like it must be partly his fault too. just its stupid saying it's 100% the guys fault, these events are so individual.