▲ 374 (update)Me [24F] with my fiance [25 M] together 7 years, how can I help rebuild his confidence when I pretty much tore it down

That is irrelevant i think because she is contradicting herself. The reason being that she actively looked for it. She broke up with her man after being engaged because she wanted something else and went and got it. That is huge.

She went out looking for dudes knowing that she wanted sex with different men. She says herself that is what she wanted. The length of time between the first date and actually having sex does not matter. That is what she went out looking for and that is what she got.

She actively looked for men and got one and actually went on the date. Whether she enjoyed it or not is her own problem.

They kissed. If it did not feel right at this point as she said, why not stop here and go back to her then ex to say im sorry i was wrong? But nope, she carried on.

She may have cried during the sex, but is that not due to guilt and actually realising the damage she had caused? Saying things like, 'i just froze,' makes it worse for me. She said herself that the guy freaked out during the deed after he realised she was in tears.

I think she is writing this in hindsight and trying to justify to herself why she did what she did. She might have broken up with him first, but why come back if she wanted different men?

Now she feels terrible and she wants to get rid of that feeling. Its not about her boyfriend. If she cared enough she wouldn't have gone as far as she did.

Its all about her in my view. She really messed up. I feel sorry for the guy and based on what she said about him, he did not deserve what she did to him.

With that said, i hope she finds a solution and they can move on.

I think she really needs to sit down by herself and think things through. What does she want from all this? What does she want for her fiancé who she frankly doesn't say much about. Both posts are all about her guilt, embarrassment and fear of losing him but not much about him.

Im dont want to bash her or make her feel worse at all. I just feel really sorry for the guy.

She came here for help and i hope she gets it. The problem with Reddit is that some people take it personal. lol and act as if it was them who were wronged.

/r/relationships Thread Parent