watch out, we got a badass profile pic here
Mad scientist.
at least let her read more than 2 words before turning her away from your profile
Probably the coolest nerd you'll ever meet.
the coolest nerd would probably not say that about himself
Trying to solve the universe in a lot of different ways, but also just trying to get silly.
that tells me absolutely nothing about you
Learning as much as I can at Columbia, doing science in space, meeting interesting people in NYC, and making cool stuff on the internet.
nice. for example?
Bringing up things that are only tangentially related to the topic at hand. Thinking about things. Over-thinking about things. Accidentally forgetting, and forgetting to forget. Wordplay all day, banter with candor, jest with zest. Consolidating partially empty boxes of pizza while maintaining their sacred geometry. Telling people I love them and meaning it, just to scare them a little.
it sounds like you've zoned out of the profile and are just blabbering to yourself at this point
The basics: Kindle, laptop, internet, math, science, the universe.
delete this. the universe contains the other 5 things
Things I could never do without, but might not fully appreciate if they happened too often:
delete this
When you meow at a cat, and through some happy accident of communication, it meows back. Subway rides where every connection (express included) works out perfectly, and you've somehow managed to scale an island in about 15 minutes. When you see another planet and are reminded you are on a planet. That thing your brain does when you smell, hear, taste something, or go somewhere that vividly reminds you of something else. Reading something some person wrote centuries ago and getting excited about it today. Meeting total strangers who turn out to be awesome, and wondering how many awesome strangers you're missing out on.
this is good. use this as your six things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Space, physics, people, programming, all the unread things. The past, present, and future. What to add to my List of Things to Do, and what would happen to my life if Google deleted my List of Things to Do. How to make things perfect, and how people manage to fuck up so many perfect things. How to analyze and predict how often I orgasm based on heart rate data from my Fitbit, and what other data can be used to accurately predict phenomena in the universe.
slow down there, hawking. keep this section light and amusing. choose one or two topics and maybe write 1-2 sentences
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading or programming or battling the cosmic angst that might come along with what I'm reading (but struggling with cosmic angst is usually scheduled for Sunday nights).
is there a joke here? also, how is that supposed to get me interested in going on a date with you?
You should message me if
You are brilliant, silly, curious, can speak your mind, and pursue intensely whatever it is that makes you smile.
delete. focus on what you want to do or talk about.
You want to make a mess and burn shit down, build stuff up and put a dent in the universe.
vague plans like "burn shit down" isn't attractive. on the contrary, it sounds a bit desperate
You have your shit together. If not, since I mostly use this app on the toilet, message me if your shit is such a mess that your profile is likely to induce bowel movements.
don't talk about your toilet and poop, genius
this is supposed to be a dating profile, not a vague monologue that only you can make sense of. a stranger is reading your profile and knows nothing about you except you're a neurotic space geek. if that's what you're going for, fine, but otherwise you need to overhaul this shit.
photos are good tho