I dont know if its just me noticing but whenever the subject of 'is crossdressing offensive to trans people offensive?' comes up its usually someone who is doing it for an earnest reason (e.g. comfort or wanting to express femininity/masculinity and not to be like 'lol im a man pretending to be a woman and vice versa') and it seems its usually a Cis person telling them its offensive.

My 2 cents is that ok i get some negative feelings about crossdressers but thats on me as its usually when i see a gorgeous crossdresser and im like 'so unfair they pass completely and its like a fun hobby to them and here i am doing it 24/7 and i can be hit and miss at best' but thats just my own insecurities if you want to wear whats traditionally girls clothing and it makes you happy or brings you comfort who am i to say you shouldnt

As for the girls at the bar they sound like transphobic bitches, its horrible you had to deal with them and i fear for the aftermath had they approached a particularly vulnerable trans person that kind of comment is enough to send someone over the edge