Just because you guys text constantly about sex doesn’t mean other person wants it in person, or that you will. You both need to ask each other over text and when you meet your intentions. Just a “hey, I noticed we’re talking a lot about sex, would you like to have sex?” And an enthusiastic yes from both sides! Maybe I interpreted your text wrong but that’s the vibe I got.

You are NOT disgusting or unworthy of wanting pleasure. I find it odd that he freaked out on you then let you go down on him. And while, yes no one owes you anything and vice versa, it is weird that, based off the text, he seemed excited to eat you out before you arrived but claimed that. Again, he can change his mind and that’s okay, you can change your mind too and that’s okay, but it seems that he did it in a manipulative way. I may be wrong about this all, but bottom line, again, you are not disgusting. Try finding a sex therapist. Open communication is always key and with that I’m sure you’ll find someone who you can both enjoy pleasuring each other!