I never thought I could off myself until I almost did. Scared the crap out of me and I sought help. I realized it's not an option and quite honestly would be a waste to society. No matter how worthless I may feel at times, I've given so much and still have more to give. Life may not be fair, but I should do my part so that it's less unfair for others. While I'm still on this Earth I'm going to squeeze out as much as I can. Besides, I feel guilty for already not being able to live out to my full potential. You see, I'm already dying and not in how we're all going to die one day. All the abuse I've put my body through during the dark times has done irreparable damage. All I can do is try to live the right way from here on out to try to extend my time. It doesn't help that I relapse sometimes and take time off the clock.

You want to make your brain stop and I understand. While that brain of yours may be a curse, it's also a blessing. Put those periods of blessing to good use to help others in some manner. What you may think is small may have an enormous impact to others.

A friend of mine recently was telling me about a guy she had met and this person knew me. Apparently years and years ago he listened to a speech I had given that really hit home. I couldn't even remember what it was, but apparently something minor to me really made a difference in someone's life.

You were put on this Earth for a greater purpose and just don't know it yet. It'd be a great disservice to rob us of it.