Honestly reading this, it kind of made me think of myself (but i never considered my self highspeed, just a harder/smarter worker than most), towards the last year of my contract I really started to slow down and observe those around me. Saw everything you said in the post and maybe even more, long story short, i got out covid hit, so i basically took a year and a half of hitting the brakes, smoking weed, experimenting with shrooms. I'm a completely different person and because of that experience I feel like added years to my life.

Not going to lie some days were hard, filled with self hatred, feeling like a sack of shit for not doing more but it wss an oppurtunity i forced myself to take and heal from old wounds prior my time in and a few i got during my time serve.

Will delete later because its tmi