Guys, I've just found a better strat for this run that lets you skip all those teething minigames. When you get control after the walking tutorial, immediately start lining up stuff against a corner wall; building blocks work well for this. Make sure to collect the toy rattle and keep it in your inventory.

Make a staircase until you're able to get about four feet off the ground, then climb it and start jumping until your Athletics skill reaches 30. Make you are running directly perpendicular to the wall, this lets you stay out of the dog's cone of vision. You won't get caught by the mother, who will be too busy looking for a video camera to notice as you clip halfway through the wall.

This is because the physics engine is trying to push you back from the wall, but since the wall on the corner is also pushing you, the two vectors combine to cancel each other out. Immediately stop moving and jump straight up, which turns your z-axis velocity movement into a burst of speed along the y axis. Once you're outside the boundary, hop into the menu and spend your perk points on bunnyhopping so you can leap along the outside wall without losing stamina. Leaving the room triggers the mother's ai_cleanup_after_toddler package, which causes the mother to take all the toys you stacked up and store them in memory.

Now that you've left the room's boundary, drop the toy rattle from your inventory and watch as it snakes its way back into the room, creating duplicates of itself. This is because the rattle is programmed to switch to a "shaking rattle" model when dropped, but the non-moving rattle is actually still in the worldspace. We use this to our advantage because the rattle was programmed to keep inching towards the 0,0,0 coordinates until it finds a valid surface. The thing is, the programmers never actually moved the rattle, they would just create a new copy of it shifted closer towards the origin.

By now the frame rate will have dropped significantly. After you drop the rattle, start bunnyhopping backwards for 35 seconds, building up a high enough negative velocity that the integer for storing your speed overflows and becomes positive. Once you've built up the required speed, pick up a duplicated rattle and Let go of the controls. The player character will then shoot further into the negative space.

When you come to a stop, turn 180 degrees, drop the duplicated rattle from the inventory, and pick it back up. You should speed back into the starting area with a trail of rattles behind you. Bunnyhop towards a door, face the hinges at a 45-degree angle, and repeatedly tap A to call for mother. She's programmed to enter from the nearest door, and will enter from the door you're facing. As soon as you see the door model start to turn, jump straight up until you land on the door handle, and then use the shoulder buttons to call for toys. Mother will give you toys based on objects loaded from memory. However, we loaded duplicate rattles into memory using the inventory glitch from earlier, which pushes other objects in memory further up, into the address space where the toys mom took used to be. The resulting array push cases mother to give you random objects, until she finally spawns the game_controller object, using the doughnut model as a placeholder. Take this object and throw it against a wall 3-4 times, and you'll trigger the "good ending" scene. This is because throwing the game_controller object caused the physics engine to apply the "destroyed" tag to it. However, since this object has no tags for physics interactions, the game engine defaults to address 0x00 and sets that flag to 1. Flag 1 just happens to determine the ending outcome, with 0 being "ongoing," 1 being "good," and 2 being "bad."

I've seen humans do this run in a shocking 9 months, but I bet a tool-assisted speedrunner could shave a whole 2 months off by using frame-perfect inputs to grind the athletics skill earlier in the tutorial.