How you feeling? Those straps too tight? No? Good, good.
Look, I know this is a bit improper and all, completely uncouth if I’m honest, but it has to be done. You understand, right? I mean, it’s the proper order of things. Isn’t it? You wouldn’t want the rest of us to starve, would you?
You’re right, you’re right. We could eat meat, couldn’t we? But it isn’t the same! See, you, you have sustenance for me that I just can’t get anywhere else. You aren’t just some useless piece of protein I can use up like a two-bit whore on the east side. You are quality. Sorry, I know that’s not the visual you want right now seeing as your reproductive days are over. You really did like spreading that seed around, didn’t you?
Anyway, that’s not what this is about. I know it doesn’t seem fair, but you are what I need. You’re what we all need. Doesn’t it make you feel good knowing that you’ll live on in others? Doesn’t it make you proud to know that your life will have meant something? And to be honest, were you really doing all that much on your own anyway?
I mean, sure you have a lot of offspring blooming about, but you didn’t exactly take care of them, did you? You’ve never gone anywhere or done anything with your life have you? Never tried to get out and see the world. Heck, you’ve never even left your birthplace. Is it really such a loss to go out like this? That’s the kind of guy you are, right? The kind that wants to help others, to serve others?
Or would you rather I go kill that nice cow over there? Slather her up for a quick bite, maybe splash her with some barbecue sauce or cover her in cheese. Then a few hours later I’ll be starving again and my body will be none the healthier for her loss. It’ll be a waste really. A senseless death that most of us will want to forget in a day when we’re feeling sluggish. Then we’ll have to raise her two kids, and groom them so they can be our next meal, and maybe we’ll eat their kids next. You never know.
You wouldn’t want that, would you? That cow gets out. She sees the world. She has a family she takes care of and that counts on her. Does your family count on you? If I let her live she provides sustenance. You? You only take.
You take from the sun and the air and the ground. You’re kind of selfish, really. You expect us to walk around you and to cultivate you. But what do you do for us? The cow, see the cow can give us milk, she can trim our grass, and when she’s old we can still eat her and use her skin after her long life of service. Sorry, another poor visual. But we’ve got to think of the big picture here.
You want all the work and don’t want to contribute. Well, I’m sorry to say that it’s time for that to change and your contribution is through consumption. See, we need what you’ve got. My kids need what you’ve got. You are the only one that can provide us with true sustenance, true health vitamins and such that will keep our bodies running for a very long time. That’s the kind of thing you want to be remembered for, right?
You’re not going to let my kids suffer, are you?