Okay, so there was this guy. Ferdinand, hell of a guy, folks. Absolutely loved me, said wonderful things about me. Archduke of Austria-Hungary, that's a nice place, I've spent a lot of time there. We were looking to build a nice hotel there at one point…. Well, there he was, just riding in his car folks! Just riding around Sarajevo in his car! He had his wife with him too, lovely woman. Beautiful, absolutely stunning. Not as stunning as Melania, but, y'know, still a looker. And it was their anniversary, folks! Been married just a year. Sweet, young couple.

Then, outta nowhere, out pops this guy with a gun! And I know the left-wingers are gonna get their… whatevers … in a wad, start screaming about “guns are bad!' and blah, blah, blah. But, anyway, there's a guy with a gun. And of course, folks, of course, this man just happens to be Bosnian! Y'know, I've-… I've known a lot of Bosnians. Good guys, good guys. But some of 'em can be such a problem! I-...I mean, they don't like to follow the rules, right? They do what they want to do! Now, that's not all of them. Some of them are certainly good people, enormously good people. But the ones that aren't, well… they cause more trouble than they're worth!

So, y'know this Bosnian guy, uh… Princip, Gavrilo Princip, he's got a gun. One of them Bosnians that just isn't happy with anything, what'd I say? Anyway, just points the gun and BOOM! Blows Ferdinand away. And folks, I know you're upset by this, I know, I was too. He was a stupendous friend of mine. But then, what does he do? Does he stop? No, of course he doesn't! And does anyone stop him? No! Instead, he fires a shot at the poor guy's wife. Kills her, too! This is where we need more firearms, folks. Good guy with gun woulda stepped in, blown him to hell and stopped all of this! This is why we need to build a wall to keep out Bosnians!