Ok. Today's update from DH is putting me at ease about a lot of this. He laid out summer plans (that fit my school schedule!) to the kids and said, "If you choose to do something else, your siblings will go, and you will be left beind."

He's also tasking Oldest with paperwork and said he's going to hold her to it.

I'm adding two hours of scholarship research and writing to my biweekly schedule...for me. I was doing a little idle Drunk Googling torturing myself with the amount of scholarships available for young STEM women. That Oldest is not applying for. Then, I had an idea, tweaked the parameters, and have a list of scholarships for MEEEE!!!! Hah. One essay every other week and all that money is mine and going towards gas, books, supplies and a new laptop. Or iPad Pro since my school does straight digital texts and I don't like how they're displayed in my iPad mini. I should have thought about this before buying it. Oh well.

We also talked about how this is stressing me, as the budget keeper, out. FH is amenable to me picking a number and that's that. So I took the "average yearly cost of attendance" cut it to 30% and stuck it into the spread sheet. If it's more, too bad. If it's less, it'll roll into the funds for Youngest.

He's commuted to working until we're two for three through school. Eight more years until he can focus on his side gig and hobbies. At that point, I should be rocking in New Career Field. I'll be done with my second round of professional certifications in July of '19, and get a decent raise out of it, and maybe a promotion.

This hasn't change anything, words are words. But promises mean something to me and breaking them will NOT be pretty. I'm done with parenting from guilt. And several of those decisions have bitten him in the ass recently. Progress?