Around 4 years ago, I was about 15, wondering about my intense feeling of self-awareness & self-identity. I took it to Yahoo Answers and received a lot of support even though I did come off as a somewhat pretentious little prick.
I'm back. Much wiser than before & I'd like to speak on who I am & my personality.
I've always had the kind of personality people gravitate towards. It's so odd it's to the point where a waiter actually paid me the other day. This is the third time this has happened. After that, I proceeded to tell him about our kind of auras & how he might've recognized mine as one similar to his own.
I never force myself on people but I know that I'm not easy to dislike. I went to high school with around 2500 students. I made friends with almost everybody. Good friends, at that. I really spread myself out. Even though I prefer to keep to myself now, I still respect and give acknowledgement to all the people I've made connections with, even though I no longer desire to. I'm a social introvert. I have a close, long time best friend but even we're going our own ways. Time does that.
I want to say one's upbringing does not determine this. I'm mixed & I grew up in black culture. Where I'm from, you learn at a young age to not express emotion. To not be so empathetic. It's expected of you. Especially if you're an athlete or "popular" so to say. However, I have nothing but love & empathy for all the people & animals done wrong in the world. Even now, I think about all the people being tortured, all the dog fights, all the injustice that's happening right now, as I type this and it really bums me out.
I don't take time for granted. I put time over money, easily. To the point where I gave up a simple retail job because it wasn't worth the feeling of my life time being wasted. We're only here for so long, ya know? Depending on how this summer goes, I'll likely be going back to school for my second year. I'll be starting a youtube channel real soon to hopefully make some income with gaming/entertainment.
I'm not a good student. I never tried. That's not an excuse, but it is a fact. My High school GPA was around 1.8. I'd like to say that doesn't reflect on my intelligence but I know I'm real stupid for not giving it at least half my effort. I'm naturally intricate.
I started sports very late in life. Another thing I still managed to excel in, with some practice. However, it took very little time to learn how to handle & shoot a basketball proficiently. I can dunk also but that's just genes and squats. I don't believe in barriers. If someone can do one thing, you can too. I know no limits. I've been drawing & painting since I was young also. I'm an overall creative person. Music and art are two of my passions.
I've been to plenty of parties. I've smoked weed. Still do when I feel like it. I've drank (I hate alcohol). I no longer share the same interests as my peers. Now, I'm mainly focused on learning all the secrets of this Universe. As if it's inviting me to search for them. I was lucky enough to talk to an ex-govt worker who got drunk & shined some light on me. But I know there's much more. Life's really slowing down & opening up. Nowadays, I prefer a good young-adult novel in a post apocalyptic setting like Hunger Games, Divergent, Fifth Wave etc. over any wild college party. I hope to write my own post-apocalyptic book one day! I still have a lot of love for basketball too. Sometimes I consider transferring & playing for a college team.
I just feel like I have a purpose. I definitely started to believe it when my mother's old boss, a fire chief, told her that I shouldn't become a firefighter. That i'm meant for a bigger picture. What's odd was we barely spoke.
I'm not claiming to be some sort of messiah. I'm far from religious. I guess I'm agnostic. I don't know if there's a God. I like what religion & faith do for people though even though plenty of lives have been lost to it also. But that's balance.
I'M NOT ABOVE ANYBODY. I'll never claim to be. I just wonder if anyone out there shares how I feel. Tell me all about it.
Btw, trolls, I'd advise you save the energy with your replies. Coming from a fellow troll, it won't mean anything ¯_(ツ)_/¯