I lost my son who was 13 months old. He had health issues early on, but by his 7th month he'd overcome them only to die suddenly just after his first birthday from heart failure. He died in his mom's arms.

My extended family is religious, mostly Catholic. I often heard about how my son was now with various relatives who had already passed. I also heard stories like "He was sent here [by god] to teach and not learn." They meant well, but it grated on me. I was inundated with religious consolations.

The most enticing belief that I wanted to have more than anything is that I would see my son again when I died. I dream about it this day. I want to see him again more than anything. It is so hard to accept that he was gone forever and that his life ended after one short year. My boy was very cheerful and bright, even while he was suffering. He would smile at his mom and I as soon as he saw us after one of his surgeries. We were his little world and he was a ray of sunshine in ours.

We are now fundraising in his name and we are hoping to use his story of strength, his ability to remain cheerful even when he suffered to help other families and kids facing serious illness. With any luck we raise enough money to have something small named after him and his story can go on for a little longer.

I've told people that I have no comforting lies to make my loss easier. I can't bring myself to believe something that serves to comfort but simply isn't true. I'm doing my best to face it head on. It's no easy.

As a non-believer, we face a more difficult truth when someone we love dies, especially a child or loved one who doesn't get a chance to grow old. You have to find your own way to honor them and maybe take what was best of them as your own.

There are resources for Atheists who face losses like this. I found a facebook group called "Grief beyond belief". It really helps to be a part of a community to deal with grief.