Emotionally manipulate my ex to feel like I was control. Not only in control of the relationship but in control of my own shit life which was going on a downward spiral into alcoholism and addiction. I realized that I was a piece of shit and I ended it, which she did not like. That made it even worse because I knew that I had so much control that she was even sad when I left, which would inevitably make her happier. I had a few chances to apologize but I let my “pride” get in the way and I would just dismiss her in the rudest of ways. I’m still trying to fix myself and it still eats my alive to this day. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself because it may be too late.