You are focusing on past events.

Focus on the present and what is happening now.

Believe me, you can say or do the stupidiest thing and people won't care (well at least for some minutes), they will forget it as soon as they change their focus back to themselfs, and how they are behaving and how others are perceving them.

If you fuck up on something and are scared of what others think, just remember that they don't give a fuck, because for them you are just an NPC in their own story.

When you are playing a game you don't care if a NPC falls supiditly, you just laugh and keep moving on with your life, after a few seconds or minutes you already forgot that, because you are more worried about that fucking monster that wants to kill you.

Everyone is living their lifes, and you are just a dust particle that happens to cross their way. And how you crossed their way is not gonna affect how you will be defined for the rest of your life.

Personal Example

I finished my highschool last year, and back then I was seen as the nice guy who helped everyone, and who was super cool, the guy who smoked weed and was super chill, the guy who had a lot of girls miring him but he didn't do shit, and even when he did he would fuck it up by being nice and beta.

In the summer, after leaving highschool I discovered TRP and I was shown the light, it was like I discovered the instructions for this game wich we call life.

After 3 months of reading tons of FR's , Meta's and RP and MGTOW blogs, I started to implement what was thaught.

I started lifting, I started reading everything non-fiction that helped me become Myself, I started maintaing frame when the same was attacked, I started to become alpha (still working to become full A).

All that helped me understand what I am teaching you. How?

Well after 4 months of monk-mode (lifting heavy, reading, meditating, approaching strangersand shit) I went to the school where I did my highschool, I went there to catch up with my circle of friends I have there and to see if the school's pussy sock remained fresh.

When I got there, all eyes were on me (huge arms, chest and back, from you know...lifting), I found my friends and they were with other people I didnt recognize, but that didn't stop me from making conversation and bantering like I knew them from way back.

I felt I was a lot more comfortable and in control. I felt as I was leading, not on purpose, but because I was a better Me than I was, I was better than them and they could feel it.

There was also this funny thing that happened, when one of the girls that I tried to have things with crossed my way, they would make eye contact like crazy, but I outmatched them everytime and they would look down.

All this that I said was to show you that people don't care what you do, because they are more concerned with what they are doing.

When you are "better" than them, they will care what you think of them.

When you are "better" than them, they will forget what you were or did in the past, because that didn't define how you were gonna be forever.