I'm really taken back by the insanely casual way some of the people in this thread approach lifelong STDs...

I agree. It’s one thing to suggest that someone having Herpes shouldn’t necessarily be an absolute deal-breaker but some folks here are acting like it’s stupid to even take it into consideration. “Come on, it’s no big deal! Almost everyone has it anyway! Who cares you catch it? Just take medicine and you’ll be fine! That’s just way too cavalier.

Look, I said in my first post here, I know Herpes is common. And I was the first to recommend that the OP get tested because he may already have it. That being said, if he doesn’t and decides that he doesn’t want to take that risk, I think that’s perfectly logical. I mean, we’re talking about a lifelong disease here. Who would voluntarily want that? No, it’s not a death sentence, but at the very least it can annoying to have to deal with for the rest of your life (taking medication, watching out for outbreaks). And, not always so simple, either. People are acting like Herpes is oh you just get a little cold sore on your life once a month that lasts a couple of days. But the one this woman has is genital herpes. Which doesn’t sound like fun to me. Sure, for many people the symptoms can be mild (which is why many who have it don’t immediately know), but for others it can be bad. And who wants to flip that coin and count on getting the mild version? Accord to the CDC:

Genital herpes sores usually appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals, rectum or mouth. The blisters break and leave painful sores that may take weeks to heal. These symptoms are sometimes called “having an outbreak.” The first time someone has an outbreak they may also have flu-like symptoms such as fever, body aches, or swollen glands.

Genital herpes can cause painful genital sores and can be severe in people with suppressed immune systems. If you touch your sores or the fluids from the sores, you may transfer herpes to another part of your body, such as your eyes. Do not touch the sores or fluids to avoid spreading herpes to another part of your body. If you touch the sores or fluids, immediately wash your hands thoroughly to help avoid spreading your infection.

The genital sores caused by herpes can bleed easily. When the sores come into contact with the mouth, vagina, or rectum during sex, they increase the risk of giving or getting HIV if you or your partner has HIV.

And, most importantly: Using condoms may help lower this risk but it will not get rid of the risk completely. Having sores or other symptoms of herpes can increase your risk of spreading the disease. Even if you do not have any symptoms, you can still infect your sex partners.

All good reasons to avoid it, if you can.