there are no words that helped me. i was running away from pain and everything was one big spiral of a mess. everyday felt the same. i knew i had to stop. i knew i had to confront what i was running from. i simply had to endure the pain. people write about therapy and drugs and everything but in my experience, just embracing the pain and realising everything will pass was the best thing i could do. therapy didn’t fix anything, just made me confused as to why it wasn’t working. my ego was shattered, my heart was broken, my life felt like everyday was the same torture. and to some extent, it’s still there. but giving up weed and exercising every single day with a strict workout regime instilled confidence. it’s a process and it does get better, even though i never believed that. being broken like that; it was the best thing that ever happened to me. i became a man where before i was a boy. strength comes from going through the crucible.