"In my 36 years of life I’ve learned that life has a crazy way of working itself out. In the midst of the madness I’ve questioned my decisions like the perfectionist Virgo that I am and always tried to come up with ways in which my outcomes could have been better. But there are two things I’ve never questioned: being a mother and wanting to get married. The first one I’ve always been proud to acknowledge and the second I’ve kept to myself buried in my rabbit hole of irretrievable dreams. My reason for this was a simple yet complicated truth “It wasn’t legal” and a reason someone once gave me “if its not recognized, what is the point?” I still remember the exact moment I heard those words. I was in my early 20‘s having ice cream with a friend and we were talking about relationships. I confided that some day I would want to get married. Her words slowly resonated in my head just as the ice cream melted on my tongue. I was angry. I couldn’t understand how someone so important to me could say that to my face. But I soon realized I was more angry at the painful truth. For years to follow, I made myself believe this.
10 years later, 2 adopted children, 2 dogs and an amazing partner and mother to our boys, I found myself thinking about the “M” word. I sat our boys down and asked them what do you think of your moms getting married. Our 11 year old responded, “Are we going to have a big party with lots of dancing?” Of course I answered. Our 10 year old said, “Yes!!!! like your friend’s wedding? and we get to walk with both of you like a family?”
You are probably thinking we are a family. But to our boys “family” has been a struggle. It’s the one thing they’ve always wanted but were deprived of until recently. I work in child welfare and my partner is a teacher. Almost three years ago I met the most amazing kid who changed my world forever. He was assigned to my case load where I represented him in court. He was 8 years old and was living in a shelter in foster care. He made no eye contact and cursed like a sailor. He was so detached and emotionally unavailable that when we expressed interest in bringing him home, people including my family thought we lost our minds. 3 years later, our little one is an honor roll student, avid reader, amazing salsa dancer and the best big brother you could have asked for. During the summer of 2014, we decided we wanted to expand our family. I reached out to one of the foster care agencies in hopes of finding a baby. Little did we know that we would end up with 9 year old boy. His sisters were in the process of adoption and he was being left behind. We thought about it and decided it was the right thing to do. He needed a home; a family and how could we deny him this. He’s been with us since August 2014 and we are in the process of finalizing his adoption.
Our lives are a roller coaster ride. We have our great days and our “where’s that drink or better said, bottle” days. But I cannot imagine either one of them not in our lives. They make us whole.
I proposed to my girlfriend in November 2014. For a month prior, I asked our closest friends and family to take a “selfie” holding a piece of paper with a reason why she should say “yes”. Once I obtained everyone’s picture, I created a photo album and had it shipped to our house. On November 4th, while she was at work, the boys and I decorated the entire front yard of the house with paper lanterns and the boys made a giant poster with their reasons why she should say yes. She pulled into the front of the house, walked out of the car and the rest was history.
I can’t begin to explain how important this wedding is to us and our boys. January 5th 2015 marked history as we are now able to get married in the state of Florida. I know there are many couples like us who are deserving of a wedding. But for us and the 2 most important little people in our lives it is the beginning of the rest of our lives and living proof that hope lives in love and love is a basic human right that we are all deserving of.
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to share our story with you."
With permission from the author, I have posted their request. It's too beautiful not to share!