Well if it is as clear cut, and obvious as you make it, shouldn't all Islamic, Christian, and Jewish people be declared schizophrenics? I mean is it any more crazy to believe that you should suicide bomb to get into heaven to have sex with 40 virgins than any of the "mainstream" interpretations?
The biggest problem is that you discount all religions as ridiculous. Guess what bud. We have a ridiculous problem on our hands. Where did we come from? If we arose from sporadically synthesized proteins chains, and evolution, why does this only occur on earth? If it occurred elsewhere, our understanding of biology, and astronomy predicts that there should be species that have BILLIONS of years head starts on evolution over us.
The fact that we have not seen other intelligent life(publicly) makes us know something is wrong with our current theory of how Humans came to be, and how theorhetical intelligent species would act(we base their supposed actions off of what we think humanity will do. We expect humanity will colonize every possible planet, just as they did on earth with every continent).
When you consider these problems with our current theories, and the proposed colonization interest of extra terrestrials, the idea of an ET coming to earth and enslaving a population, writing a propaganda book, and taking what they want from earth, and leaving seems rather plausible, considering historical alignment(not at all saying I believe this, but saying it is not "ridiculous").
The only other way to answer the problem of our non-observance of ETs is that
1.) we are in a "nook" in the galaxy that is protected by some natural/artificial phenomena, or our location is undesirable to get to, which explains why there has been no contact with ETs
2.) Intelligent life is much rarer than we postulate with modern mainstream scientific theory. We do not understand key concepts to our existence. If this is the case, the idea of our "creation" also seems less ridiculous.
3.) Some higher life form has physically, or extra-dimensionally influenced earth, and has either left, or continues to control it.