I came across your post because I felt drawn to it. Someone just helped me out on another sub. You can research it.
I'm 32 years old. Female. I have been raped, given drugs that have led to me being pregnant. I was given HPV (cancer, now) from a guy that told me he will love me forever and marry me.
I refuse to have children because my dad fucked me up.
HEY LOOK. Your life is ok. You aren't dying of a disease. You had one relationship that hurt you. SO FUCKING WHAT!!!! I slit my wrists through a few engagements and relationships. I am a hot girl. (Ok, no one knows or believes me, but I was a model in my 20's, hand to GOD or whatever the fuck you believe in. To your mom? My mom?)
If even a hot, supposedly, girl like me could want to die, why would you? You have all the reasons in the world to live. I am you, you are me. We all are just here fucking around, living. So just feel the fucking sand and ocean in your toes.
Just feel the water in the faucet pour over your hands. We have running water!
That's a really cool thing! I have to look at those little things every day in order to really want to live.
Like, my toilet actually fucking flushed! Score! No scabies or nasty shit here any more!
Hey. Look. I'm a human. I am looking at you right now, in spirit. As a fellow person. I am writing this on my couch right now. I have a big screen tv in front of my with some random standup comedian going ham over whatever.
But I am taking my time to talk to YOU. YOU! /u/throwaway01091.
And just fucking take a shower, feel that water. Feel the fact that you can feel. Take a step outside and smell the grass.
I keep reminding myself that there are people in North Korean concentration camps that have NEVER smelled grass or knew that there was a such thing as hamburgers.
So just take a deep breath. I'm here with you. I recently saw Monica Lewinski talk in a TED talk. If you can come back from that. You can come back from anywhere.
Keep me as a friend, please. You can be the next Bill Gates. I love you. Because I just do.