Now, you’ve got rap beef and then you’ve just got rap comedy. The difference is — this shit ain’t personal, but some shit is too funny to let slide. So, my nigga, Plies — I fuck with your “Sweet Pussy Saturdays” videos, and all that is funny, but your ass is about to get it and it begins with this picture, nigga.
Your forehead’s going up on a Tuesday. Sweet-forehead-Saturday-having-ass-nigga. nigga, your forehead’s go God damn big, you can fit another face on that motherfucker. Kirk-Franklin’s-face-with-Stevie-Wonder’s-forehead-having-ass-nigga.
Your forehead is so damn big, that ho needs to be represented by a real estate agent. nigga, is your hairline smiling at me? nigga, your forehead makes LeBron hell a confident. nigga, your forehead makes your eyebrows look like a single eyelash. Old extendo-forehead-having-ass. What are you thinking about, nigga?
No wonder you’ve got every fucking hat in the world. It takes two different barbers to line that bullshit up, doesn’t it? Don’t lie, nigga. Old face-down-here-having-ass-nigga. nigga, your forehead is taller than my kids. You could build a fucking White Castle, two Wingstops and five Waffle Houses on your fucking forehead, nigga.
I could write “Bitch” on your forehead one hundred times as standards, nigga. Fuck a C-section — they had to give your mama a Z-section to get your big-ass head out. You football-helmet-head-having-ass-nigga, you. I fucking hate your forehead. All them damn thoughts. Low-key mad at God. Like, why this nigga get to think more than me?
Old excuse-me-I-can’t-see-the-movie-screen-head-having-ass-nigga. You probably spent the first twelve years of your life trying to balance that big motherfucker. Let me host a party on your head, nigga. And I’ve never met you in real life, but me and your forehead went to school together. To be continued…
And Kevin Hart, Jamie Foxx, Joe Budden, Tyrese Gibson, Ne-Yo, Bow Wow and Flo Rida - you’re all my niggas, but I’m coming for you and a few others. Don’t take it personal. I’m drunk, but it’s too late. You were born and now it’s time to pay.