Gamers of Reddit, What are the strangest things you've heard over an open mic?

I used to play a lot of Call of Duty and Gears of War a few years back, this took place during Gears of War 2's lifetime. I was a pretty stereotypical nerdy white guy from Oregon, and I somehow became really good friends with some far more gangster people from Chicago who smoked A LOT of weed while playing, and they were fucking hilarious. They were really cool guys, and I still play with some of them to do this day, albeit different games.

Anyways one night we're playing with a guy who we met through a friend of a friend, so he was really friends with no one in the current group of players, James we'll call him. So it's getting on late into the night about 10 pm in Oregon, and all of the sudden James says something like "Man I really wish I had some weed right now". One of my friends, Pat we'll call him, says "Well if you live on Chicago I can sell you some", and James says "No shit? You live in Chicago? I live like 45 minutes away, that'd be so dope if you could sell me some right now" And so James and Pat exchange details and James says he's on his way and he'll be there in an hour, so like 1 AM Chicago time.

So we're playing Gears still, with James gone and on his way, and Pat gets a text from James seeing he's here. Pat, being the man that he is, gave James a a false address just to do the deal, but still intended to do the deal. Pat says in the party chat "Shit man, it's the middle of Winter and I don't wana go do this deal right now, it's fucking cold outside" and Pats roommate/friend, we'll call him Bruce, say's he'll go do it for him. Pat says ok, gives Bruce the weed and Bruce leaves and we continue playing Gears.

20 minutes later, Bruce comes back and Pat asks how it went. Bruce starts laughing and starts letting out a story. So Bruce went to the meeting point, an abandoned apartment building or something. He walks out of the building, brings a sample of the weed. James said it looked good, and gave Bruce the money and Bruce walked back inside to get the weed. Bruce decided to himself, "Hey this guy has no idea where I leave, and I've got the money, why don't I just walk away?" and so he did. He went out of the back of the apartment building and came back with money and pot in hand. But he didn't stop there, he also called the cops from a payphone on the way home and reported James. Pat and Bruce are laughing hysterically, and I'm laughing too, and me being a 15 years old from rural Oregon, this shit was fucking exciting.

An hour later, James hops on Xbox Live, and joins the party chat and starts cussing everybody out, expectedly. Tells everyone how he never got his weed and how the cops pulled him over, but thankfully he had nothing on him. Pats the party leader and lets him have his time, and then he says "James, you got jacked bitch" and kicks and deletes him off his friends list. To this day, the story of how "James got jacked" is still told among our group of friends.

tl;dr James got jacked, Bruce is kinda an asshole.

/r/AskReddit Thread