I've seen you do this sort of thing before to the point where it's a pattern now. And behind the scenes, you talk about how you're always "going through stuff" and you're emotional or passionate and have issues with anger. Some of it I know about, some of it I don't. Whether we know the details of your personal life or not doesn't matter. Either way, it spills out into your stream, which you want to treat like your job.

In most other jobs, you would've been fired by now.

There would be no second chance. You yell at a customer because they're being an idiot and you're dismissed. They shouldn't be abusing you, but you definitely shouldn't overreact and take it out on innocent bystanders who did nothing but tell you that you shouldn't be raging. Your boss wouldn't care who instigated it; that kind of behavior is just unacceptable.

Bad stuff happens to us all. You'll find someone dinged your car, but didn't leave a note. You'll have girlfriend issues or a breakup. You'll eat something that makes you sick and you get upset. Someone in your family will be critical and ruin your day. We all have those moments.

There will ALWAYS be something which makes you angry.

The way you react to it defines how you're going to perform, both in terms of game play, being toxic, and how you treat your stream and how many viewers you get and just how you are as a human being.

You don't seem to know how to properly handle your emotions and they overwhelm you and you become toxic, then afterwards, you regret it, apologize, promise to change and reform and vow to get back to your roots again.

You think that THIS is the last time, but without really changing, without learning coping skills, without knowing what to do when you get frustrated at other things in life.

This will happen again.

You may mean well and really think you're doing it this time, but I think you're going to have another moment, something else that triggers you, and you're going to lose control, lose the game, lose yourself, and lose more viewers.

Go get help.

You repeatedly say on stream that you have anger issues. Sometimes you cage it as being hot-headed or passionate or easily frustrated or emotional. What you call it doesn't matter. Your reaction is always the same. What you need is to sit down with a professional, someone you pay with some of the money you get from donations or subscriptions, and talk it out with a therapist or a psychologist. You've only had you to deal with. They've seen dozens or hundreds of people like you. Use their experience and learn how you should cope, how you should deal with frustration, and what you should do the next time because there will be a next time.

You've alienated and angered your friends, your viewers, your followers, your subscribers, and probably your roommates and family. It's not going to stop until you end this cycle of pain, lashing out, regret, apologizing, and then getting hurt again.

Go talk to someone besides strangers on the internet and get some serious help.