I think OP just wants to complain. Can't tell if trying to cry out for help or you think you're edgy TBH. Either way, it's painful to read. Maybe I'm being an ass here but as one of those whose lives depend on that disability money to live and don't buy much out of the way from bills, who go without even buying themselves "new" needed clothes or whatever and feel incredible amounts of guilt when they do because the money just is barely enough to live on...you come in here and say yeah I burn that money and buy expensive stuff to watch it burn...it's just kinda sickening to me. Like I guess you don't have bills to pay or just don't care at all about that either. Why do you feel the need to come in here and tell us? I'm sorry your life is so terrible, mines not a ball of sunshine either, but maybe just move to a state that supports right to die instead of burning that money?? Idk. Go find what you are seeking at least. I don't know your circumstances and I hate to see people suffer but damn. This just got me a little upset... if I'm a nasty person for saying this than I apologize to the rest of the subreddit.