I claim to have gone from doing mostly what she wants and doting on her to doing mostly what I want and being more self absorbed. Beta to alpha is an approximation don't read too much into it.

I rely on fear and validation to find happiness. Interesting thought.

You're right I do still feel insecure at times but its a fraction of what it used to be. Don't think its an issue.

After reading Rational Male and TWOTSM I essentially fixed my marriage and things have been pretty good for a year now. So I went back to reading science and business books. Should've kept at the sidebar.

I think she does resent me now but at least shes attracted so I'm better off than I was pre-TRP.

She actually makes more than me so I don't think she sees me as a wallet.

You're absolutely right that I allowed my mood to shift with hers. Thats the biggest issue here. If I had my shit together I would be unaffected. I wouldn't be up at 5am discussing this with internet strangers. Low point but I'm excited to grow from this.