I'm sorry. I didn't know they removed it. I originally posted to /r/relationships, I think there are some issues with me wanting to stay, which I understand is hard for some people to accept and goes against conventional advice.
Last night he came home pretty trashed. He had been drinking, smoking weed, and doing a "small amount" of cocaine at a friend's house all night. He called around midnight to let me know he couldn't drive and was staying there. I wasn't thrilled but I didn't object, told him to be safe and get some sleep. I went to bed. He came home at 3AM and was clearly still under the influence. His eyes were bloodshot, he wreaked of booze and weed, his speech was fast and sometimes slurred. I hate seeing him like that but didn't say anything (there's no point). I got him some water and Advil then suggested we go to bed. He agreed and said he'd be in soon.
About 15 minutes passed and he hadn't come to bed. I couldn't hear him (or anything) and decided to go look. The house was silent so I went out to the garage. As soon as I opened the door I could smell weed, which isn't a huge deal, but then I saw my husband pop up from behind my car (he'd been bent over the trunk) and heard him yell, "What the fuck are you doing?!" I actually jumped back because it caught me off guard. He'd been snorting lines off the back of my car and I needed a moment to take it in, which apparently really upset him.
He came up to the doorway (where I was standing) and started accusing me of sneaking around the house and spying on him. He looked and sounded absolutely furious. I tried to stay calm and explain I was only checking on him, to which he replied he didn't need me checking and to stop lying. I was honestly just looking out for him, my intention wasn't to catch him fucking up, and his accusations really hurt my feelings. I didn't want him driving off drunk, putting himself or innocent people at risk. Also, it was a little strange how he disappeared after saying he was coming to bed.
I walked away hoping to avoid conflict but he followed me through the house to the living room. He kept calling me a liar and it really bothered me. I do not lie, especially to my husband. I finally snapped and raised my voice to him for maybe the third time in our entire relationship. I called him a paranoid cokehead and told him to leave me alone. He was yelling more nonsense in response and I turned to leave. He grabbed my upper arm, said, "bitch, I'm talking to you.." spun me around and slapped me across the face so hard I fell to the ground crying.
He first told me to get up, then said he didn't hit me that hard, asked me to get up, then finally apologized. I was still laying face down on the floor (and sobbing) while he stood over me saying these things with very little emotion. When I stood up and he saw my face his demeanor changed. He apologized profusely and tried to hug me. I flinched, told him not to touch me, went to the bathroom to asses the damage (huge hand print welt on my face), and then to bed. I was so tired that I slept all day. I woke up to an apologetic text, also him saying we need to talk, etc. He was gone (to an event for a relative) when I woke up and isn't home yet. I love my husband. I respect our marriage and I want to respect him (but I feel this has negatively affected my respect for him). I do not want to get divorced. I don't feel like he's an abusive or dangerous person either. I think the drugs and alcohol fueled this incident and without those substances (and lack of sleep) this would not have happened. I don't think I'm at risk for becoming a domestic violence victim or anything like that. He doesn't have a history of violence toward me or anyone else. But he hit me hard. He's nearly a foot taller and outweighs me by 80lbs. He really hurt me both physically and mentally. I think I blacked out momentarily after he slapped me. I have a headache several hours later and a bruise is forming on my cheek. I don't know how I'm going to react to seeing him and being near him later tonight. I wish I had stayed in bed and never gone to look for him. What should I do? Is it possible to have a one time DV incident?
tl;dr: I walked in on my husband of 2 1/2 years doing cocaine. He accused me of spying on him, called me a liar, slapped me after I called him a paranoid cokehead.