She says that he said I have been exporting him for money. She pulls up joking texts I made while I was dating him like “buy me a fish tank or else. Just kidding” and “I love country revenge songs.” She’s saying he found these threatening and scary. She tells my lawyer she isn’t sure whether or not to let me go without a criminal charge (he wanted to do a good behavior thing)
This kid love bombed me which is the only reason we talked in the first place. He is not my type. I find him narcissistic and psychotic. He is the least attractive and Keats interesting person I’ve ever interacted with, and he has the entire city believing I stalked and harassed him. I don’t get why nobody believes me. I believe he is doing this to get back at me and to prevent me from ever filing against him. I feel it makes him feel we are connected. I’m scared he’s going to kill me at this point.
Nobody will listen to me. My lawyer assures me everything will be fine. But I don’t feel okay. I’m in such a state of anxiety that I throw up every single night. Ive blocked 600+ of his accounts used to stalk me. I am in hell. I think I might have PTSD. I’ve never committed a crime. I used to make gift baskets for my school nurses and school bus drivers on holidays. I know that seems like it’s an irrelevant fact, but it’s all I thought about while sitting trapped in a tiny hot jail cell with woman who actually murdered people (I’m not kidding).
I have a good lawyer. I’ve lost fifteen thousand dollars so far and I’ll be losing more. And the worst part of this all is I have a tape of him lying I can’t use. I feel on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I’m only 23, and the jingle of my dogs collar gives me anxiety attacks. The feeling of everyone calling me crazy over a guy who I find pathetic.
Please give me steps for coping. I got a therapist. I don’t feel better. Nothing is making me feel better. The fact I cried and begged the DA’s not the ruin my life. For something I didn’t even do. And this blonde blue eyed finance guy is just believed for obvious reasons. I’m treated like a stalker to a guy I ended things with and who assaulted me.
I wish there was someone I knew, someone I could write an article about this for, someone public and famous who could just help me. I can’t keep waiting for the DA’s to make a decision. I was already invaded and now all my things are being subpoenaed. Knowing this kid has complete control over my freedom after he already raped me, disgusts me.
I feel powerless. I’m only 23. I don’t know if I can go on. I have a lawyer, he’s handling it. I have a therapist, I’m trying. It doesn’t mean I’m doing okay, I don’t know what to do. Apart of me thinks if the DA’s take this far enough I’ll have to go on tik tok or a public platform and play the recording and say “listen, help me.” I just don’t know what to do. I am so angry. Do you have any tips for me, please. Nothing legal or anything. Just tell me what you would do please.
A man sexually harassed me then ruined my career.
Another man raped me then got me thrown in prison and is still trying to get me criminally charged.
I’ve dreamed of writing a book since I was a little girl. And this is the onlY thing that’s helping me. Is someday I’m going to tell these stories. Somewhere. I just wish somebody would listen to me. Maybe they don’t now, but they will.