How to take this test and be a smartass about it, while appearing innocent and getting max points.
No. I'm 3/10ths Norwegian. Most of my friends are 2/5ths Norwegian. My cultural/racial identity is a minority within my friends.
No. I do not own a TV because I watch stuff on Netflix. And when I do watch television shows, Caucasian is not a term that accurately describes people from Westeros as they are Andals.
No. Greeting cards are incredibly generic and I'm never able to find one that says something that fits my relationship beyond the initial premise of "I Like You".
No. If I get married, it'll be to someone has an awesome last name. When that happens, I'll be expected to take their last name so that I may also have an awesome last name.
No. That time of the month is when my baseball team is sucking horribly. Of course I'll be grumpy and irritable.
No. Of course I'll worry about that, people are awkward as shit.
No. If I'm hugging someone in excitement, it'll probably involve lots of "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT WAS THE GREATEST FUCKING THING TO EVER HAPPEN etc. etc." People will stare, hence causing a reaction.
I do not enjoy Yoga or dance, so of course everyone will question my sexuality, given that I'm probably doing it to talk to the cute girl in the class and find a way to express our sexuality together.
As a Grade-A Patriarchical Shitlord, it is my privilege to oppress women by dying while they evacuate.
No. People who cry in public will be criticized by any idiot who walks by and mutters about people keeping their private life private.
As a testosterone-filled Rapist Shitlord, I have the societal obligation to kick everyone's ass that encroaches on my piss-marked territory, despite my cowardly tendencies to run away screaming.
Of course I'll worry about that. Moving into a house requires a moving hand truck/dolly and wheels don't work on stairs so I'll need a ramp. When moving, assistive equipment is mandatory if you're not going to break your own back.
Public displays of affection always cause people to stare. You're the cutest fucking couple in the world, why wouldn't they?
The patriarchy makes me drive recklessly and over the speed limit, resulting in higher average insurance fees for dudes. If I'm careless, it will be attributed to my gender.
It's fucking dark and I'm all alone. Humans are tribal and don't like being alone by nature. Of course I'll be worried.
See "We're the cutest fucking couple". It will be so cute that people will vomit, and then get embarrassed/hostile.
The last time I went to the hospital and got blood drawn, they gave me blue gauze. Do I look like a fucking Navi?
Should I mention anything race related, tumblr will twist it as a white person only giving a shit because it relates to a white person losing power or a poor, helpless POC gaining power which I obviously think is bad.
The government is collecting all digital information about its citizens that it can possibly get its hands on. Should I speak out or become an issue, of course I'm worried that some embarrassing info could 'leak' to discredit me.
As a white person, should I be asked a race-related question, my answer will be taken as an answer for all white people.
Convenience store owners are paranoid about people stealing stuff because it's their business. They will watch you like a hawk no matter what, making me worried that I'll be accused of something I did not do.
I know buildings where the steps skip floors. I've sat at the bottom of the stairs trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to get to the fourth floor when the stairs skip that floor.
Work wants you to be there no matter what to make the company money. It'll be challenged and under review, at least as long as it takes the manager to go look up the date on the calendar, and then you'll be challenged again as "Not being a team player" for taking time off work.
We judge everyone based on age. Young people are inexperienced, old people are incapable, and people in between are clueless about new and better methods.
I'd love for the world to come together and hold hands, but that's always going to be viewed as naive as long as people like this teacher are giving out privilege tests that divide people into different groups by pointing out race, sexuality, gender, "privilege", height, weight, eye color, leisure preferences, etc.
I AM THE MOST OPPRESSED PERSON, DONATE TO MY PATREON
