I am the oldest of 4 (3 younger brothers). My (ED) Egg- Donor got knocked up with me when she was 18, by my (SD)Sperm-Donor and blah blah blah, they got "shot gun married). Life was never good. Hearing my parents fight day and night, SD beating ED, ED beating me and my brothers, the RCMP showing up blah blah. This goes on for years ED taking SD back, things are good for a few weeks/months. Then the fighting/drinking/beatings starts all over, the Mounties intercede. This goes on for about the first 8 years of my life. The ED decides she is going to go to university and now me and my 3 brothers now get the pleasure of living with the SD. So guess who gets to be the new punching bag? Ding Ding I won that prize. The ED now finished university and now has a new man, she tells me and brother #3 that we have to live with the SD and not her and her new happy life, because the new guy doesn't want 4 boys, just two. Lucky us. The SD ramps up the abuse and drinking. I finally convince my Grandparents to let me live with them, Brother #3 doesn't want to come. :(
I was hospitalized with the following: broken wrist, broken upper arm, dislocated shoulder's, broken nose with multiple black eyes, broken foot and multiple concussions. All of this before I was 16. The ED doesn't "remember" any of this abuse. Not once was Family Services a teacher or a family member involved. The ED swears she did her best!
I have very limited contact with any of my family. I stay in touch with brother #3, no contact with the other two brothers. The ED had met my son twice ( he is 11), that is her choice not mine. My SO tried to involve her, but she is ????. She used to call to try to get me to give her $$$ for my brothers fuck ups or to pay off her gambling debts.
I haven't seen the SD in almost 30 years, no loss there.
My family gives me shit about how I ignore my ED. They have very selective memories. I have a GREAT memory and love to enlighten them. The last contact I had with any of them was my Grandma's funeral a few years ago.
I am closer to my SO family and I love her Mom.
It took me a very long time lots of therapy and many failed relationships to realize I deserve to be happy and to allow somebody to love me. I still have a hard time trusting, but I am learning.