You didn't really provide any concrete examples here so you're being vague as well. I'm not looking to argue, but you're not being fair here. I'm not sure how to de-escalate the emotion here, but you need to come to grips with reality a bit.

It's very nice of you to take her to the doctor and run her errands. That's a nice thing to do for someone who is giving you grief. It shows respect and a willingness to do what needs to be done. However, I expect every grand kid to do this for their grand parent.

However you demand respect for your independence, privacy, and differing opinions (i.e. general disagreeableness). You have no independence, you live with your family while you get off your feet. It's ok and many people have been there, but realize it for what it is. Dependence.

You have no privacy, you live with your family in their home. You have differing opinions though, and as you said yourself a fair dose of sarcasm and cynicism.

But notice they didn't move in with you. As I said before, respect is earned. You don't automatically get it because you went to school and have opinions.

The truth is that you need to lose the cynicism and sarcasm, and realize that life isn't working out the way you wanted. You are not alone in your struggle, half of this last generation has the same problems as you. You can't let it own you, you have to find a way to enjoy to enjoy life even if you have nothing, despite that you were promised everything.

Here's a dose of realism for you. Life sucks for most of us. You do the best you can. Be strong, kind, and find a way to be happy. Do not be sarcastic and cynical. There's your non-vague advice.

Stone cold and direct, just like my mother gave it to me.