Rant time: I'm pretty femme, and sometimes it's so damn hard to tell when a girl is romantically interested in you, no matter how flirty she is. A few years ago, it was not unusual for me and my women friends to just casually send each other explicit photos of our bodies or texts. We'd hit on each other outrageously, go on dates with each other, talk about masturbation for hours, or even watch porn together. I have no idea if any of them were actually interested in me, or even in women, or if we were all just doing it because it was so much fun. It was nice to be flirty and sexy without the anxiety or pressure that comes with actual romantic entanglements, and I always appreciated that I could have those kinds of friendships- I know that some women are not so lucky, and get hit hard with homophobia when they get too close or relax too much. It was an amazing opportunity to learn about friendship, sexuality, and our bodies. Our interactions were just a constant stream of compliments and mutual adoration, and it was wonderful. I don't hang out with many people outside my brother and my girlfriend anymore due to social anxiety and introversion, and sometimes I miss it. Not enough to leave my house, but I do miss it.

I'd talk to girls on okcupid, or even meet up with them for dates, and I'd have no idea if they were interested in me because it felt no different than flirting with friends. I'd be attracted to them, but I wouldn't act on it because I didn't want to be a creep, and I didn't want to alienate anyone by making an inappropriate move. They'd be super enthusiastic about hanging out, but maybe they were just excited to make a new friend. It didn't help that I was still unsure about my own sexuality, that I'd internalized a lot of biphobia, and I was really worried that I'd "use" someone in my own "sexuality exploration".

So yay, go ask people out! But maybe try to make sure you're clear from the beginning. The best thing my current girlfriend and I did when we first started talking was we both made it clear that we were interested romantically, not just platonically. We didn't have to second guess about ambiguous classification of our hangouts- they were dates. Any flirting and touching that happened between us was romantic.