I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is like 90% done with me.
We had a fight a few weeks back because it seemed like he was always turning me down for sex and I'd get all offended because it made me feel like shit. Said he was tired from work which seemed like a bullshit excuse to me because he's been working the same job since we met and things were fine until a few months ago.
I got back on my antidepressants and I was hoping that would help me feel better about this situation too. It hasn't. I'm just more depressed about it, to the point where I can't stay awake past 10. Being in bed with him is like torture; I just want him to hug me or touch me or something. I guess he's just not an affectionate person and I'm sick of having the same conversation (argument) about it. We do have sex sometimes. I guess the sex isn't really the problem, more just the lack of affection altogether and it seems like the easiest way to get that is (was) to take my pants off.
We don't even really talk anymore. It's like we just love our two separate lives but live together. We were supposed to go to dinner & a movie tonight but my babysitter didn't work out so instead I went to sleep at like 9:30 while he stayed up and did ???
He's being all secret squirrel on his phone all the time, which is hopefully just me being paranoid, but I've already had an experience with someone else where he would stay up hours after I went to sleep, talking to another girl. I'm trying to not let that affect me but it's hard when the situation feels exactly the same.
One of us works every day and I have a 5 year old son so we never really have any time to actually do things together; just a lot of sitting around, watching TV.
My jealousy is out of control. He talks about his (female) manager all the time and it makes me want to dig my eyeballs out with a popsicle stick. I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend or husband and that nothing would actually happen but that doesn't take away the thought that he wants it. I have never seen this girl in my life.
So basically, it seems like the problem is really just me & my insecurities, although I could use more effort from him. Our relationship is okay, but it could be better if we both tried.
So, that's what's on my mind.