I don’t disagree. There’s a good comment thread in here I replied to earlier going into this topic specifically. In fact, the misconception that abuse is consciously planned is why a lot of people deny their own abusive behavior as they truly don’t understand how what they’re doing is abuse if they weren’t calculating about it.

I didn’t at all imply there was a “set time” for lovebombing, but if you think something I said gives that impression, please point that part out so I can rework it. While there is an average timeframe for the idealization phase, it’s absolutely not a preplanned thing. There’s usually a catalyst that sets off the trickle from idealization to devaluation, and depending on the victim’s personality, that can be very short or very long. There ARE some very calculating abusers who very much DO have an element of foresight in their behavior, and those situations are especially chilling.