I read this as you should compromise so everyone else doesn't have to. And they won't!! Suggesting that other people not doing the exact thing they want to do is silly.

The fact that you think anyone would care how about how their behavior impacts you is silly.

See the thing is, all your feelings come from you, not anyone else. They are not anyone else's problem. So why would you make requests of anyone else's behavior? That's actually the opposite of loving.

If Matilda is dating Bob and Anthony, and Matilda chooses to spend Thanksgiving, New Year's, Christmas, Valentine's, her birthday, Bob's birthday and Anthony's birthday with Anthony and Bob is not invited, it's too bad if Bob doesn't like it, if it's what Anthony and Matilda's passion dictates.

Matilda's choices increase the amount of love in the world each time, if spending those events with Bob would make her unhappy. Matilda is acting in the spirit of ethical poly and doing nothing wrong, and the results of her behavior each time are two people happy (Matilda and Anthony) and just one person choosing to be unhappy.

Compromise would taint and corrupt the love happening between Matilda and Anthony, and Bob has the choice of staying or leaving. This is how poly is supposed to work.