Gotcha. Just pointing out that it's not clear from what you typed that you have determined the root cause of your lack of attraction for him. If the cause is do to his action, than perhaps he can do something about it. Perhaps you have tried that?

If you have already explained to your husband the things that killed your attraction to him, the results of it, and then given him ample chance to correct that, then yea there is no hope. If you haven't done this precisely, so that it is quite clear to him, then I think it's worth a shot since there is so much tied up in this (kids, long relationship, etc...). But if he is beyond that point, then I totally don't understand how you would want to remain friends with him (aside from for the kids); in that scenario I would find his lack of response to you not only unattractive but disrespectful.

Really the best solution is ripping off the bandaid. His soul will be crushed, but the best thing you can do for him is make it's clear that it's over.