Top comments about rumination and escapism are good.

Personally when I was younger I felt like I had nobody, coupled with my poor language skills I starved my intellectual potency (if any) on television. This gave me ample time to ruminate and cause the development of neediness and clowning behavior and so forth.

The past hell that I lived in served as a reminder to branch out and escape daily. I tried reading a lot of books on various subjects, writing, drawing, probably even wood-working.

I wanted to draw very badly perhaps so I can keepsake charming girls, so I read lot of art books and started to draw with absolutely no talent.

I read Starting Strength and joined a gym like class with free for all weights my last high school year. However I abandoned this endeavor for years and it wasn't until some time ago I picked it up again. I can honestly say I don't know what I lost until I lost it. Time is the most precious thing you have, it can make you a secure man or an insecure man...

I have a list of things I do. I try to study something everyday,and since I am graduating in a science major tomorrow, I try to really understand what I learned or skipped over the past years.

I sing a lot in the car; I used to sing a lot in the shower. I watch my diet because I admire natural bodybuilders with amazing physiques (think reg park).

Whole point being, the more you do something the more you will grow and be less lonely overtime. I don't think you will run out of things to learn. At this point I am researching boxing and I want to see if I can incorporate some footwork drills with jump ropes and what not when I am done with lifting. I won't ever of researched boxing (perhaps I read a book before but really?!) if I didn't pick up lifting again.

Few thoughts, take it or leave it

One small step at a time leads to many different doors. State my point another way, I don't think you can be lonely if you cut down on the times of rumination. When people start to admire your body or your work ethics and what not, some would want to be friends with you. Girls will look at you like you are mysterious, you got something to say. Some might even ask you why you don't talk a lot. The daily reminders are nice...

And by then you are so dedicated to your vision you can start analyzing girls with a more objective eye. Reading stories and cautionary tales of people here losing their life to harlots you become more sanitized and because of your own self-respect from doing whatever hobbies you choose, you embody the character of self-responsibility. Self-responsibility built by the consistency to preserver and build healthy habits is needed to climb out of suburban mid-life, boring house-wife, television roaring, fat and ugly apathetic surroundings or crisis you might get stuck in. Once stuck, you may be forever trapped in by self-justifications and subscriptions to cooking/knitting magazines, and the idea of comfort so much so you get the idea that you want to be a chef and impress your starving circle/sphere of emptiness, perhaps food will lure them in. Fin.