My folks for example have been 'happily' married since they were in their early twenties. Married for over 40 years now. The thing is this traditional values were norm back then, they weren't up for question. It's not like divorce didn't happen but it was certainly frowned upon and far less common. In the days when they got together marriage was sacrosanct, you made your bed and you had to lay in it. Today this isn't the case. Divorce is an option, being a strong independent single woman is an option, the law not only stands to protect women in divorce but also allows them to profit from divorce in many cases totally screwing her ex husband financially and putting him in a very difficult financial situation for the rest of his life. Women feel like they have options now...divorce has never been easier!

Now when you look at successful long-term marriages and you really dissect the key to the marriage lasting...I include my own folks in this and my grandparents while they were still alive. The key is the man bending, the man sacrificing himself utterly. The man putting aside his own biological direction, his own dreams and goals, his own hobbies, his self preservation often his own personality in order to prioritize fulfilling the needs of the female. This is always the case. Women do not compromise, the man always has to bend to her life direction in every way, he has to serve her or he is deprived of physical and emotional affection and if he consistently doesn't bend to her direction he's gonna be given the boot. Once again, the older generation did not feel that giving the man the boot was an option, women didn't feel like that had that option. By the same token men were not so aware of how much they were bending to make a marriage work. The older generation just went with, 'yup that's just women, they are a pain in the ass', 'can't live with em, can't live without em'. The reason being is that a men bending was and still is normalised and even glorified...that's what a 'good man' is meant to do, that's what a 'good husband' is meant to do...to sacrifice yourself utterly to serve another self serving human being. Men have gone along with this because we are by nature extremely romantic, extremely pleased to serve, extremely dedicated...we always strive to be the 'good man'. The average man will go to extraordinary lengths for female validation, to know that he is a 'good man', a 'good husband' a 'good father'. Back then the bar for those living those values was far lower and what it took on the males part to live by those values was respected.

My own father worked his whole life in construction. Mum gave up her job at the age of 20 to dedicate her life to being a mother. My father worked 6 and sometimes 7 days per week on building sites in the freezing cold, doing an extremely physically exerting job which over the years has ultimately broken his body. He continued working through agonizing injuries caused by work to pay for a family home and for his two children. He continued to support his family through two recessions one of which lead him to a full nervous breakdown as the recession hit and crumpled his business. It took him years to get off the prescription medication that got him through his breakdown because he kept working, he worked through the pressure. During times of financial hardship...mum going to work was never an option because she didn't want to and by traditional values he felt that it was his responsibility to support the home. Later in life dad had opportunities to start new businesses, to move abroad and work...they were aspirations of his but he put those aside because mum wanted to stay at home near family and raise her own family in the best environment for her.
Although dedicated to his career dad still found time to be a loving father, to raise us boys right, to spend some time with us. Dad still found time to often cook and to clean. Being a builder he also used to spend a lot of time on home improvement, making the home that mum wanted. All of this he did because he loves my mother and because by the traditional values he was brought up on...that's what the 'good man' is meant to to. So what did dad get out of it? Well he is happy in knowing that he has always been the 'good man' and always as a child I remember when we were having dinner...dad would always have the big piece of chicken or the bigger steak. Have I ever heard my mother thank my father for his devotion through thick and thin? Never. Such devotion has been normalised.