So when I was in counseling/therapy we actually found out that I was VERY hormonally imbalanced. I said I felt like I had PMDD (not gonna get too into it but kasi calmly extreme PMS lol) Not to an extreme case, but I seriously had really debilitating mood swings, a bad temper, and a lot of social anxiety because I was so swayed by my emotions. I had the option of controlling hormones through birth control pills and holy crap. Soon after I started taking them, I started waking up and I didn't hate myself so much the moment I woke up, like I used to. I had energy again, and I started walking and running more. I was ambitious enough to try some ballroom dance, and yoga classes. And my mood swings were almost gone; when I got in a disagreement with my parents I didn't have the strong urge to cry or scream. I could think clearly without disparaging thoughts. I honestly wonder if this is what people who aren't affected by their emotions feel like. Like even though something bad happened, it was okay and there was still tomorrow to look forward to. Chemicals in the body really are amazing. These changes were so real. I really felt like a different person, it was so, SO different. I actually stopped taking the pills eventually, because I felt like they were kind of "dulling" me in a way. I try to be creative, but without the intense emotions I had, music wasn't the same, my art wasn't the same.... I had been so affected by my strong emotions that I didn't know what to do without them. But it boils down to yes, I'm happy and levelheaded on them, but there's something missing that makes me not like the way I feel. It feels stupid, but it's complex to me. I'm contemplating taking them during school to help me pull myself together, but I'm not sure what I want to do.