I’m an allo with a wife that recently has stated that she is feeling like she might be “asexual”, although this has been a progressive change over many years.

I do not expect her to have sex with me if she does not want sex, nor do I expect her to be ok with me having sex outside of our marriage, but these topics are things we are working through now.

My preference is to stay married and find a compromise that works for both of us, but ultimately if her firm position stays at “you and I will never have passionate sex again and I am not comfortable with you getting it elsewhere” then we will definitely divorce (but remain friends for the sake of our two kids).

I cannot be mad at her for how she feels, and I do not want to make her suffer for my needs just as she does not want to make me suffer. This is simply an important incompatibility and for many relationships is one that is too big to compromise around.