Hey! I hope you still check this thread. What do you mean you don't get to honor God when you're with your boyfriend? What kind of person is he? I[19 M] kinda feel like I'm in the same situation as him, as my girlfriend [19 F] recently told me she won't be having sex with me anymore 'cause it goes against her values and what god would want for her. She sounds a lot like you tbh, she's also religious but unlike you(i think), she makes "exceptions" to justify the "things" we used to do. I love her to bits and I always tell her that I'm okay with anything but I feel like it's too much and I feel like she doesn't consider me when she makes decisions and I think that's a red flag there already.
I apologize for elaborating on my relationship with my girlfriend and not answering your question. In relation to the topic, I was raised by a christian family,attended christian schools from the 1st grade to the 12th grade, went to youth services, basically I was what people would consider a "religious nut" but I knew at an early age that I wasn't getting amything out of it, I was only doing it for my parents and the people around me. Even though i did it for the wrong reasons, I "believed" that there's a god out there that makes sure that the good guys always win but back in middle school, I came home to my mom's dead body and thought how she literally was the most faithful and religious person I know and how she made sure she never did anything wrong yet she was still stabbed to death by the f****r who was repairing her car, from that point on, I questioned the existence of an all-knowing, all-powerful god and I realized how irrational and illogical it was to rely on a god for guidance and protection. Now, I don't really think about it anymore, I don't care if there's a god, all I know is I should be the best version of myself and make sure that I leave the world a better place. If a god does exist, I have no interest in meeting him.
I apologize for the subtle hostility, I do not mean to offend you or anyone else on this thread.