I was truly in love with my wife and had a happy marriage. It was devastating to me when she drifted away and eventually wanted a divorce. Through out the whole process I would have taken her back at any time, and have been rather depressed and down for a long time now.

This very thought is basically one of the few silver linings I see. She has gained a lot of weight over the last 3 or 4 years, and we are both about to turn 40. That wouldn't have mattered to me if we had stayed together because how much I loved her truly out weighted any concern of not being attracted to her like I might have in our 20s. But as long as I'm forced to be single, I can recognize that as she enters her 40s she is never going to be attractive again. Even if she loses that weight, which I doubt she will, its only going to go down hill with every passing year. Meanwhile I'm single and weekly pick a different escort to fuck. That's how I plan to spend my early 40s as well, and maybe the rest of my life. No dating, no sacrificing my time, goals, or autonomy. Find the hottest young 20s something in her prime, enjoy the hour, go my own way the rest of the week. I never wanted that divorce but now that I'm here I'm taking advantage that plenty of young attractive women are willing to be with me for money. Fuck it, I'm not ashamed. These girls are way out of my league, being with them is something I would have only thought was a fantasy in the past.